Saturday, November 22, 2008

小明要去朋友家

有一天小明要去小華家,問媽媽可不可以
媽媽說:「車子過了才可以過馬路」 (小華家在對面)
小明說:「好」

結果小明10分鐘之後哭著跑回來 說:

「都沒有車子過去…」

Friday, November 14, 2008

cool~

An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has
missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and
buys a pregnancy kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house;
a mature and distinguished man with grey hair,
impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit, steps
out of the car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father,
the mother and the girl, and tells them,
'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
However, I can't marry her because of my personal
family situation, but I'll take charge.'

If a girl is born, I will bequeath her two retail stores,
a townhouse, a beach villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of
factories and a $5,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, it will be a factory and $2,000,000
each. However, if there is a miscarriage,
what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and
tells him,

'Then,

' you try again.'

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Monday, November 3, 2008

浪漫的道歉

婚後,妻子還是和談戀愛時一樣,霸道蠻橫不講理。

這天夫婦倆本是說好一起去會朋友的,可走到半路妻子又不講理地喝斥起老公來,老公平時都是言聽計從的,可這次不知怎麼,竟來了牛脾氣,一扭頭,他回家不去了,頭一次把妻子丟在馬路上,妻子當時氣得眼淚都快流出來了,但不能認輸,她只有賭氣地單刀赴會了。

晚上十一點鐘妻子回家,見房裏燈都關了,心想老公是睡著了,便沒有按鈴,掏鑰匙開門時,發現門上貼著紙條,上寫:你必須向我道歉!
妻子憤憤地想,我還沒有找你算帳呢!

進屋後開燈關門,發現門後又貼著一紙條,
上寫:或者把我皮鞋擦亮也行。
妻子罵道,呸!我給你擦個屁。

換鞋時發現,她的拖鞋上又有一個紙條,上寫:呸,擦個屁!
妻子感到好笑,她心想,要我道歉,我都要一個星期不理你了,你心裏有數點好不好。

妻子去洗漱,口杯上又有一個紙條,
上寫:如果你不知道該怎樣向我道歉的話,書桌上有提示。
妻子急忙跑到書桌旁,只見桌上放著半頁紙,
正面寫著:把背面的話對我大聲念兩遍就行了。

翻到背面,見上面貼著一張報紙上撕下來的廣告,
廣告詞是這樣寫的:做女人,每個月都幾天心煩的日子 ......
妻子又想笑,他以為是我'好事'來了,心煩才對他發脾氣的?幹嘛不說我更年期到了,那樣豈不是更好下臺階,可笑。妻子的氣消了一多半。

洗漱完後,妻子上床,見老公扭頭在一邊睡著了,她也不理他,打開床頭燈想看幾頁書再睡,這是她多年來的習慣。打開書,裏面又有一個紙條,
上寫:我知道你心裏已經很難過了,你覺得對不住我,有點難過了就行,也不必自責了。其實我也該檢討,要不是我發現馬路對面表哥他們正想看我的笑話,我是不會跟你作對的,男人嘛,除了在外人面前要點面子外,誰會沒事跟自己老婆過不去呀。

妻子心裏一陣發熱,覺得自己是有點過分了,
對不住老公,便雙手抱著他的頭,
扳過臉來,卻發現老公臉頰上還寫著兩個大字:



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親我。